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Issue # 50


Superintendent John Heaton of The Bill (pic courtesy ITV)

 

Mike's Pith & Wind - Reality show
Because the universe is so very, very big, it’s a mathematical certainty that there are planets, perhaps similar to Earth, perhaps not, that can sustain life. Or so the theory goes. I reckon describing the universe in purely mathematical terms equates to the if-you-gave-enough-monkeys-enough-typewriters-and-enough-time-they’d-write-the-complete-works-of-Shakespeare theory, (they wouldn’t write one iambic pentameter). Without the evidence, it’s not science. It’s not even rocket science. It’s a hopeful guess, or speculation made to sound a bit like mathematics. I’ll come back to you on this..
On a slightly different tack; don’t you find it disconcerting when some actor well known for, say, playing the part of the Superintendent on The Bill, turns up on some other BBC crime show (like The Murder Room) playing a fireman? It’s the sort of jolt that can threaten the sanctity of that comforting bond between the couch potato and his telly. As if in the glare of some personal spotlight, the actor is revealed as, well, an actor - acting. Sometimes, as in this case, you can continue to believe the rest of the cast in their roles as a doctor, or policeman or a maid, whatever, but whenever this particular actor appears, even though he’s stubbornly wearing his silly fireman’s helmet, you just can’t accept that he’s a fireman; or, more accurately, not a rather puncy Sun Hill Superintendent moonlighting.
Moonlighting. Policemen used to sometimes moonlight as security for suburban dances in the sixties and seventies. I’m not sure they’re allowed to do that now. Actually, I’m not sure they were supposed to do it then, but with security guys (and gals) having to.. read more

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Dick's Toolbox - Caravan parks
When I first arrived in Australia in the early 1970s and drove around the bayside beaches, I was astounded at the caravan parks crammed between the road and the sea. Curious local custom I thought, all these people living in aluminium and striped canvas recreations of a medieval fair. Grizzled cheek by tanned jowl, plumber next to accountant and polka dot bikini to satin one-piece circus tents . At that stage I could not have imagined that I would have spent a large part of twenty three summers in the Torquay Public Reserve Caravan Park, and eventually, reluctantly and grudgingly admitting what a bloody marvellous time I have had.
Not that I came readily to this point of view - I was dragged over the shards of snobbery and dislike of communal living like an atheist to communion or a Liberal party to an apology. Why am I here, I thought, surrounded by Australians being exceedingly Australian? Not a.. read more

 
 
       
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