..some
lost pride with a fast and lucrative sale on Gumtree.
It was overcast anyway and it was also getting dark so I had to move fast. I
was heaving the antiquated looking beast into a more photogenic position one
of the wheels fell off - and then I remembered that was one of the issues I
had when I off-loaded from the van in the first place.
I decided to photograph the vinyl dust cover first with the emphasis on the
Beef Eater logo - the former owner had told me it was a sought-after brand in
its day. The pic came up OK, a little bit menacing in a Darth Vader kind of
way.
(see pic)
I filled the plastic bucket I found near the BBQ with hot water, (which was
when I also discovered that it had a significant leak, dear Henry), and washed
the wooden slats and hood down with a damp sponge. I surveyed my work. It looked
a bit better – almost dashing.
When I lifted up the hood I discovered that a) the hood wasn’t attached
to the grill and was made in two pieces, which naturally came apart and b) it
was also covered in fat and badly balanced so was darned awkward to put back
together and reinstall over the grill.
The grill itself was absolutely caked in fat from the last meal cooked on it.
I refilled the leaky bucket with more hot water and tried to brush the fat off
the grill with my trusty old scrubbing brush, (the same brush I used to clean
my bath with until it was banned from being stored indoors, let alone used indoors).
I was also fervently hoping that I wouldn’t get my good clothes spattered
in fat in the process.
Although my clothes were spared, fat did spatter onto the porous paving stones
around the barbie, which refused to respond to subsequent vigorous brushing
even when accompanied by imaginative cursing. Surprisingly the grill did look
a bit better though, but when I looked again at the surrounding wooden slats
and hood, the water had dried into dirty looking smears, so I frantically refilled
the bucket (there was now a lethal trail of water from the kitchen to the back
door) and dampened the offending bits to temporarily remove the smears.
Unfortunately, by the time I grabbed my camera the smears were reappearing,
but Maria was about to arrive home so I took the photos anyway. I mopped up
the trail of water in the kitchen and attempted to tidy up as best I could.
It was quite dark by now and the fat-spattered pavers were safe for the moment.
I nonchalantly remarked that I’d inspected the BBQ and thought I might
be able to fix the wobbly wheel with a nut from my assorted nuts jar that I’d
been amassing for the last forty years. It turned out there was no usable thread
available so I gave up on that idea and advised Maria that it would most likely
be impossible to sell the BBQ on Gumtree. Maria always knew this and so happily
agreed and yesterday I rolled the corpse out to the nature strip, (which took
a little time as the wheel kept falling off).
The first thing to go was the vinyl dust cover bearing the proud Beef Eater
logo.
Yesterday morning I noticed the hood was lying on the grass and the partially
cleaned grill had been removed by some metal-collecting scavenger. The tray
was still full of burnt charcoal and fat which had petrified into a miniature
Breugel diorama.
I took some of the stuff cluttering the shed out to keep the dismembered BBQ
company on the nature strip and actually engaged in banter with some of the
passing scavengers who liked the look of some of the items I was parting with.
This morning we awoke to find some ruffians from one of the less civilised adjoining
suburbs no doubt, had deposited a mountain of white goods on our second nature
strip. (Our house is on a corner). We shall have to wait and see if the council
is feeling in a charitable mood and removes it – otherwise I could be
mowing around it for the next twelve months.