..even a craze.
Remember crazes? I was gardening in my garden that could pass for a jungle the other day and The Ballad of Davy Crockett infiltrated my brain and I started to sing the story of Davy Crockett so well known to every American and Australasian child of the era;

Born on a mountain top in Tennessee,
Greenest state in the land of the free.
Raised in the woods so's he knew every tree,
Killed him a bear when he was only three
Davy, Davy Crockett King of the Wild Frontier.

A very young Dick and I shared a ‘genuine’ coonskin cap (probably made of possum) that mum got us after much pestering no doubt, but I recall it was lost or even pinched by an older kid on an excursion down to the park in St Albans Rd. But we’d had our chance and no matter how heartbreakingly we pleaded, a replacement coonskin cap was simply out of the question.
Then there was the yo-yo craze followed by the hula-hoop craze - but, I digress.
I don’t know about you, but I was rather relieved when they discovered it was the co-pilot and not the auto-pilot that took the Germanwings plane down recently. (By auto-pilot I mean the on-board computer – forgive the dramatic licence).
It’s just the computer thing in general. The suggestions being made by various expert commentators, before it transpired the co-pilot was actually responsible for the crash, were to the effect that the air-crew was just there for appearances and that the on-board computer mostly does a far better job of flying the plane - in fact the crew might actually struggle to land the plane in an emergency if the on-board computer was incapacitated or drunk.
Now, I (still) don’t know about you, but I think that’s an undesirable place for us as a society to be. I know Volkswagen wriggled its way out their cars suddenly losing power for no apparent-reason, (in this country anyway), but that wasn’t a good look either.
I’m currently experiencing the phenomenon myself, even if it’s vicariously. I’ve never owned a vehicle with electric windows or auto-transmission let alone with a computer controlling the vital bits, but my partner Maria owns a Renault Megane, aka The Poodle, which is replete with all the latest gear (as of eight years ago anyway) and that of course includes the ubiquitous computer – or even computers, for all I know.
Yesterday The Poodle started to act a little crazy. We’d just parked it at home when it unilaterally decided not to lock itself. Well, actually it appeared to lock, then instantly unlock itself, and as a consequence the interior door lights wouldn’t switch off either.
Maria called the Renault roadside service dude, who certainly arrived in good time but then seemed to know about as much as we did about the problem. In fact after he left, having taken the fuse out for the interior lights, other more serious problems suddenly manifested, according to the read-out anyway, such as the brakes and the steering lock not working. For some reason the boot mysteriously locked itself, with Maria’s knee x-rays inside.
Which leaves us in an uncertain position. It’s the Easter holidays and so the Renault agency down the road is closed anyway, but when the time comes we’re not certain if we’ll be able to drive the car there in order for it to be repaired.

So, the here come de conspiracy payoff. The whole aim is for Renault and doubtless its competitors to have total control of the servicing side of the business with its exclusive proprietary software and hardware. Fierce competition has meant that there’s very little profit in just making and supplying vehicles so the exclusive supply of spare parts and maintenance of its vehicles is the next profit-growth area. It’s a revealing exercise to imagine rebuilding your car using the proprietary spare parts.
In the meantime the industry has big plans to further computerise our automobiles, with the ultimate aim being self-driving cars. This is going to be hard to advertise in the traditional manner. ‘Freedom’ was always the starting point with promoting car ownership. When you’re being driven on a predestined route at a mandated speed and at a standardised distance from the car in front of you in a line of cars forty kilometres long it’s hard to see how that is any different from being on public transport.